20 Days until Easter

20 Days until Easter

Forgiveness.  Let’s talk about it (yes, I realize that by “let’s”, I mean me and myself having a conversation).  Peter asked Jesus a question that I feel drawn to reflect on today.

“Then Peter came up and said to Him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  As many as seven times?”  -Matthew 18:21

It’s a common question in my house.  “So and So said _____.  How should I respond?”  Or, “So and So did ______ to me.  What should I do?”  What their real question is, “How many times do I let So and So treat me this way until it’s ok for me to forget forgiveness and give them a good ole grudge!?”.  Forgiveness isn’t always easy.

“Jesus said to him (Peter), “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.”  Matthew 18:22

This part of scripture isn’t really about math or numbers.  It’s about forgiveness.  The question at hand was about the limit on forgiveness.  But the answer is that forgiveness is unlimited.  No matter how we’ve been wronged.  No matter how many times we’ve been wronged.  No matter how massively we’ve been wronged.  Forgiveness is the answer.  What about the person who hurt me?  Forgive.  What about the person who lied to me?  Forgive.  What about the one who spread false rumors about me?  Forgive.  What about those who humiliated me?  Forgive.  What about those who took from me?  Forgive. 

With an unlimited capacity.  Forgive.

And this is the thing, sometimes we have to forgive alone.  There are times that forgiveness is only one sided.  The forgiveness in my heart doesn’t depend on how the other party responds.  I don’t have control over the heart of another.  I can’t make another person feel sorry for what they’ve done or said.  I can’t make another person feel the hurt they’ve caused.  I can’t force forgiveness from another person.  Nope.  The forgiveness in my heart has nothing to do with the response of another.  But guess what?  I’m still called to forgive. 

Forgiveness is a choice.  It’s an action that I can feel as I do it.  It’s not just saying, “I forgive you” or “It’s alright”.  It’s the decision to release the grip that the wrongdoing has on my heart and replace it with love and compassion and mercy.  

Jesus was telling Peter about unlimited forgiveness as He looked ahead to His death on the cross.  During His crucifixion, He gives us an ultimate example of forgiveness and shows very vividly that it is a choice.  As He hung on the cross, He prayed for those who crucified Him.  This wasn’t a moment of they called me an ugly name, but I’ll forgive them.  This wasn’t they stole my money, but I’ll forgive them.  This was they hammered spikes in His hands and feet, but as He hung there dying for the sins of humanity, He forgave the very ones who drove the nails.
He called out to God, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” -Luke 23:34

They pressed the spike against His already bloodied skin.  His outstretched hand laid there for a moment between the spike and the wood.  And as they applied pressure to the spike against His body, the spike undoubtedly was already penetrating the skin.  Then they raised the mallet.  I don’t know if He looked away or if he looked at the nail, but with all my heart I wish I could go back in time and kneel beside Him and wrap my hands around his face and cry out to Him how very sorry I am.  I don’t want Him to look at the nail.  I can hardly bear the thought of Him laying there looking at a nail that was placed there for my sin.  I can hear the sound of metal on metal as they hit the mallet head to the nail head, driving the spikes through his hands. I can hear the sounds of His mother’s wails.  And then--I can hear His sweetest voice.  “Father, Forgive them.” 

So every time we struggle with forgiving those who have wronged us, it’s an opportunity to reflect back to the cross. I will never forgive like I have been forgiven.  EVER.

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