37 Days until Easter

37 Days until Easter

Addressing the conflict.  Head on.

Life surely isn’t short of conflict.  I’ve faced a few in my days, but I think the hardest was when Margo was a toddler.  She had been dealing with seizures and we didn’t quite have things figured out. I will never forget the fear that washed over me, nearly drowning me in panic during a routine visit to Target.  I was pregnant with Jude and I remember pushing the buggy down the aisle of baby stuff, Margo walking by my side, her cute bob haircut bouncing about and her little gauchos swinging freely. And then she wasn’t by my side.  I turned around and saw her struggling to walk in a straight path and then fall. I left my buggy and picked her up, then backed away to see if she was just dizzy or playing. “Margo, walk to me. Straight to me”. And again, she struggled to walk, and before I could reach her, she hit the shelves.  Panic. Fear. Conflict. Over the course of the next few weeks I faced a test that wasn’t fun. I had faced cancer--the reoccurring kind. I had faced infertility. I had faced other trials, but this was a type of soul shaking test I had not faced yet. She quit walking. She quit talking. I remember standing at the foot of the bed at Sacred Heart Hospital when two neurologists walked in.  Margo’s sweet little bob was covered up in wires and wrapped in white bandages. A pacifier defied gravity, dangling loosely from her little mouth. Her head was heavily nestled in Josh’s chest. One of the neurologists spoke to Margo, face to face, “Margo, sit up for us”. Nothing. Then she asked Josh to sit her up. Margo’s chin hit her chest. Her head just hung. Then she asked Josh to pick her up above his head.  Limp. Everything about Margo was limp. Her head. Her legs. Her arms. She dangled above his head and I saw the neurologists make eye contact with each other. Panic. Fear. Conflict.

Of course on this side of that conflict, I know that it all worked out.  Margo began to walk and talk and more than likely the ordeal was the result of something viral.  That was one conflict. One test. There have been more since and there are more on the way. That’s just how it is. Tests can be stressful and challenging and downright scary.   When I was in the classroom, I relied heavily on data from tests to guide my instruction. Why? Because those tests always revealed the truth about my students’ understanding of science content. One thing tests tend to do is reveal who we are and what we’re made of. But in this life of conflicts and tests, I have options in how I address them.  

The ministry of Jesus began when He was baptized by John.  As He was baptized, the heavens opened and the Spirit descended on Him.

“The Holy Spirit descended on Him in bodily form, like a dove; and a voice came from heaven, “You are my Son; with you I am well pleased.”  - Luke 3:22-23

The Spirit then lead Jesus into the wilderness, where he stayed for 40 days.  There in the wilderness, He faced tests and struggles and conflicts. For forty days Jesus fasted.  He went without food for FORTY days. That’s not a figurative starvation. That’s not a “I haven’t eaten since my bowl of Cheerios this morning and it’s 1 pm and I’m starving”.  After 40 days of fasting, Jesus wasn’t just hungry, he was pretty literally starving. So when Jesus was tempted by satan to turn rock into bread, it was during a time of extreme hunger.  Satan was trying to undermine His trust in God to lead him through this test, but Jesus remained focused. Jesus trusted so deeply that His Father would take care of him that His state of starvation did not affect His ability to stay committed to God.  This part of the test revealed that His physical circumstances played no part in his loyalty, faith and trust in the Father. Then, from a high point on the temple, satan tests Him again, tempting Him to prove the Father’s love for Him by throwing Himself off the temple.  Surely a Father that loved Him, would save Him. So why not ask for proof? Satan even goes as far as to twist scripture in his attempt to test Jesus. But Jesus remained firm in His trust and focused on His Father. Whatever the Will of the Father was, Jesus stayed on a path of humble obedience, never needing proof of love or commitment.  And yet again, satan remained reluctant to give up on testing Jesus in His weakened state. Looking out from a view of all the kingdoms of the world, satan told Jesus that he could give Him all that He sees if He’ll just fall and worship him. This offer of power had absolutely no influence on His focus on the Will of the Father. There is no state of weakness, no circumstance that can compromise His focus or His trust or His loyalty or His love for His Father.  Nothing affects His relationship with the Father. There was a reality of evil and Jesus dealt with it.

“Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, satan!  For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and Him only you shall serve.’  Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him.” -Matthew 4:10-11

The Son of the Living God, Jesus Christ came to earth to do something no one else could.  There was an unmitigated oneness with the Father. An utter and pure loyalty to the Father.  Humanity failed the tests, but He came to win. He won in a way no other could. He revealed the heart of God through His self-sacrificing love.  For forty days he gave of Himself in the wilderness, preparing for the establishment of His kingdom and the eventual total sacrifice on the cross.  Jesus is the Victor. There is victory over sin and evil and death because of Jesus.

There will be conflict.  There will be tests. But my circumstances and state of being don’t change the fact that Jesus has power over sin and death.  Because of His life and death and resurrection there is redemption and there is salvation and I am not alone. I can address the conflict like Jesus did.  Stay in oneness with the Father. Remain focused. Fast. Pray. Give. Forgive. Love.

“And He humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” -Deuteronomy 8:3